Let's talk: Will I ever feel confident?

Confidence 
How to feel confident

How to feel confident? Will I ever feel confident? What a question aye? I hope you didn't click on this hoping to find a secret recipe, they don't exist. Whether you're old, young or somewhere in between, the topic seem to haunt us, and here is what I have to say...



You were birthed from your mothers womb, you lived in your skin for 'x' many years. Yet, why is it so difficult to feel good in it? I took these photo's this weekend, and I decided not to use them. But then the idea of social media being this idealistic place played on my mind and I wanted to share with you my, not so idealistic state on a sunny Sunday.

How to feel confidentThis outfit arrives to you, not because I found the most amazing top (it's actually my mothers), or the best summer shoes ever (they're about 5 years old from Primark), but because I'm barely wearing any makeup, and lets face it, I pretty much rolled out of bed, threw a teeshirt on and spritzed dry shampoo; I have no shame.

From a very young age, our parents tell us that we look pretty, our friends try an make us feel better by saying our thighs aren't as fat; and 'no one can see your spots as much as you do'. Yet we spend too much of our time in front of the mirror covering up the pimples, googling what to eat and what not to eat in order to get less of them, how to make our hair thicker and our skin more glowy.

And, the enlightening (or not) discovery is that we will not see ourselves as ourselves until we hit out adult life, until we understand, and begin to form our own thoughts, outside from those of school norms. We understand what makes us happy, what makes us come alive, you form desires and dreams, you lust for travel, good food, family time etc. You build your own world and the insecurities are not taking up as much space in your life as they once used to.

Not everyone is as lucky as to 'grow out of it' so to speak. Don't take this for its face value, for I do not mean it in a black and white sense. I'm 21 and I wouldn't say I have exactly 'grown out of it'.  But as teenagers, we have to admit, we possess far too much time for our appearance, far too much of our teenage life span (and adult life at that) comparing ourselves to others, and far far too much time getting ready to look good for someone, when we should be getting ready for ourselves.

As an adult, we work, we go to social nights out, people get to know you and give you a chance, despite your looks. In school it's different, you get judged on everything and nothing. You endure close minded people and it can be pretty damn hard.

The way I see it, we need to learn to love our strengths, be proud of our achievements and aim for more. That's true happiness, achieving goals is happiness and not the pimples we see in the mirror, or the broken out skin, the dry patches that never seem to disappear, the boney knees that reflect in the mirror as we slide into the shorts, and not the skirt we no longer fit into. Sometimes my friends complain about all those things and they fail to see the amazing blue eyes they have, or the thick hair people would die for, how funny and bubbly they are, how smart they are, how disciplined they are with their fitness (etc etc etc...), but remember, your friends are thinking this about you too...

Just remember to respect yourself and your body, love it and know what you're putting into your body, in the world with so much hate, start spreading love from yourself (Blaaaaaaah how cliche). But it's true, make a change, opt for the healthier more natural skincare, less processed food, and hey you know the drill!

How to feel confident


How to feel confident

Lots of love

xoxo




10 comments

  1. I shed a tear wow. I don't know how you do it Angelika! This post was so touching and I don't know! You are preaching all the way throughout this post, not to mention how beautiful you look naturally. This post deserves so much recognition because I agree with everything you've said! Well said and written lovely! Xx

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    1. Thank you Sami! It was one of my favourite topics to write about, so I'm glad it came through in my writing! You're a wonderful soul! Thank you!!!! <3 xxx

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  2. This post was so beautifully written and I love that you chose to share those photos, you look beautiful by the way! X

    Kate// itskaterose.com

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    1. Thanks for reading Kate! I wanted to write something a little different on the topic and I loved writing it so much, and I'm really pleased you like it! Thank you chick xoxox

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  3. Your words are not only so poetic and fluid, but truly, (emphasize truly), insightful. Thanks for the reminder, that while I fixate on my imperfections there is a friend somewhere admiring my unique qualities. And for anytime you ever forget your own beauty and wisdom, just know that I am somewhere in the world cheering for you, knowing how amazing and talented you are <3 X

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    1. Thanks chick, loved writing this! It's such a difficult topic, like you preach to your friends and always make them feel better, but you never eve say the same thing to yourself. I just feel like artificial things like looks just happen to matter so much less as you grow older. And (not always) your intelligence plays a bigger role than your looks, if anything the way you are enhances your looks. I love you so much, thank you!

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  4. You look absolutely beautiful in these photos! And I couldn't agree more with what you've written - it is soooo easy to get caught up on focusing on little niggles that chip away at our confidence slowly. Especially in school, like you said! I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self to appreciate the 'good' parts and just accept the flaws! To be completely honest, some of these flaws change and disappear as we grow up anyway - or maybe it is our mindset towards them that changes. Either way, looking back, it feels silly to have been so hung up on things that no longer seem to matter! I think that's one of the best things about growing up and becoming a true adult! Of course, we still have those moments every now and then (ie. when we scroll through an amazingly curated Instagram grid hahaha) but it doesn't seem to last as long or feel as important anymore! This is a lovely post! <3

    http://milenawears.com

    x

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    1. I'm just so glad I can look back and realise that school wasn't my life, I just wish people in school knew that, but they don't realise that school life will not determine their life. THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF A TUNNEL! Thank you for your comment doll, always love hearing your thoughts! xoxox

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  5. Girl I love this post, just to say you look fab in all those pictures. I definitely feel since after school my confidence is grown, I feel like I can be myself and don't have to worry about feeling judged, but then I also get that comes with growing up. You're right so many of us comment on everything we hate instead of our positive. It's good to remember no one is perfect and we all have our flaws yet we all have so much beauty❣️

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    1. Thank you so much! We all have our down days, but it just hit me when I was writing it that as much as we can lose weight, cut our hair, do our makeup, we only have one skin and all that matters is how we actually feel inside. There's a whole lot of nothing you can change about who you have become so we may as well accept it and love it. We are humans, humans shouldn't be ashamed of not wearing makeup or not always looking on point you know. Our actions defy our beauty more that our looks and I just hope people in school realise things like that as soon as possible! Thank you for reading lovely!

      xoxoxo

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